Motivation

Goals are what drives people to do what they do and what they want. Its that feeling of accomplishment and content that pushes people to see how things would turn out. But alas, not everyone achieves their goal. It's a sad truth, but nonetheless, everyone goes on to see that their goal is achieved.


Over the past few weeks, or should I say months, I've realized that most of my time was either spent on worrying on stuff that I have to do, or things that i want to do, but too lazy to do it. It was only up until last week that I tried to do something earnestly, but miserably failed to submit. It was then and there that I realized  that there's something that I really, really want to have, and that is:


"A goal for me to reach"


Last week's stuff made me have second thoughts on what I really want to do, and it even fell to the point that I realized that I literally SUCK at writing good papers. I'm REALLY not a good fan of writing stuff, but it would make more sense if I was writing what I liked, right? I mean, yeah, I COULD read stuff to make me a good writer, or at least, not be a half-assed one, but that won't make any sense if it wasn't what I want to do, right?


Some movies, manga, and even most anime have a situation like this: "boy loves girl, but girl or parents refuses to acknowledge their existence unless they're good at something and aims for something high and they eventually reach their goals, and end up marrying each other." This would TOTALLY make sense if there was a girl I like up until now, but sadly, there isn't, so there's no motivation coming from there.


In the end, I'm still looking for something that would make me more motivated to do stuff other than the "desire to win" attitude. Finding a "desire" for your "desires" sounds like a lot of hard work for this onlooker, but I'm bound to find that somewhere, someday.


And now I wonder...how long would that take?